Earlier this year I was asked to host a HypnoBirthing/Natural Hypnotic Birthing course which I happily agreed to, being as we've been doing it for many many years and saved a good number of women a great deal of pain, so, why not?
Be warned, be vigilant and keep your conscious critical factor polished and active when someone presents a barrage of attack to your unconscious.
Her words are in red, with my analysis following on the line below.
"There is no way to say it any more gently
What I am about to say is harsh
although I will try to be gentle
Try=implies failure and the intention to do something but not doing it (like I shall try and get to the gym this week)
and realistic too
This is MY reality I am about to impose upon you for your acceptance/resistance
( having given birth twice )
I am an authority on this [bad birthing thing], twice over
.....until you give birth yourself,
If you haven't given birth then you are at a disadvantage
nobody has any concept of what it is really like
YOU have no concept of what it is really like [MY 'REALLY', so MY REALITY]
valid opinion can only be hold by someone who has experienced something.
Should be 'Held' not 'hold' (so communicator is rushing/upset/uncaring of communication
NLP – is this true? Is this useful? We have not personally walked on the moon but we believe and trust in the idea of zero gravity
until then it is only a theoretical opinion.
Therefore, zero gravity is only a theoretical opinion
After that, your opinion is only then based on your own experience unless you are a midwife or birth companion and even then, its nothing like gving birth -ask a midwife who has! 😉
Your opinion is based on your own experience (of which you have none, therefore reiterating MY authority).Missing apostrophe in shortened form of it is to 'it's'. Misspelling of ‘gving’ is another indicator of emotional state of communicator.
Personal note – I have trained midwives and emergency staff and intensive care nurses. Many midwives have not given birth and know far more about the birthing process than an uneducated female in distress, including a very amiable and hugely experienced male midwife.
Many . like me, I am sure,
More allusions to my sense of authority, reaching out for back up from wider world (technical an I/you shift) I am certain of this so you should listen
have believed 100 per cent in natural childbirth
I believed 100 per cent in natural childbirth
until we gave birth and found that it can be anything other than what we believed 100 per cent we would experience.
Until I gave birth and I found, through my own particular experience, that it was not what I thought I would experience so I felt/feel betrayed
To be fair to all women
I am being fair and honest here and am now drawing on the support of all women of the World
who have had a long or difiicult birth and been dmaged physically, pyschologically or both
You, like me, could have a long or difficult birth and be damaged physically, psychologically or both because this was MY experience (cloaking one’s own pain and hurt in being ‘fair’ to ‘all women’) spelling mistakes denote anxiety.
their opinion NEEDS to be heard,
‘Needs’ is capitalised = I am not being heard (I'm not coming on the course and I want (my pain/hurt/experience to be acknowledged)
not only by those who may help them, but prospective mothers need to be informed as to what can and frequently does occur that is less than positive
Presumption that those who may help them are uninformed
so that they can better prepare to deal with it.
You are not prepared to deal with it
Belief will not make a birth that becomes impossible to handle naturally for physical reasons any different.
Belief is unimportant
Some women who had tried to follow natural plans for birth feel very inadequate and incapable
I felt and still feel, very inadequate and incapable
if for any reason they have to resort to medical intervention to literally save life......
I had reason to resort to medical intervention … this is a life or death situation
all because of an unnaturally raised expectation
I had an unnaturally raised expectation
that they can do it all with no trouble.
I thought giving birth was no trouble/was led to believe giving birth was no trouble (and feel betrayed/want to save all women from same fate)
Sometimes, all too often, help IS required
Medical intervention was required during the birth of my children
and no woman should feel they have let themselves or their child down if the birth is difficult or requires medical assistance.
I felt that I had let myself and my children down because of this
Expectation and belief DOES count for a great deal however
Contradiction.
and every women needs to feel empowered at this time
‘Women’ rather than woman – emotional state indicator
I needed to feel empowered at the time I gave birth and did not
but the view of birth should be balanced and REALISTIC .
My reality imposing on yours, again
Yes, it's always miraculous and amazing and the new baby is always the most massive cause for celebration any woman will ever have
Meeting the client where they are to diffuse opposition
....but if she needs drugs, forceps, ventouse, a C section because the birth is impossible physically without those measures, then she needs to be prepared for them
I need to warn you all the medical interventions used in the birthing process that I experienced in case you do not know.
or the trauma can be worse if the expectation of a joyful and easy birth is not balanced by the knowledge that some need help and sometimes all does not go according to plan
My trauma was worse because I had the expectation of a joyful full and easy birth
. I fully believe and support the concept of natural birth
I did not have a natural birth but I like the idea of it
and methods such as hypnosis to achieve that end and I'd be the first to encourage every mother to invest their hopes and expectation in this and to go for it when it comes about BUT to ALSO become INFORMED COMPLETELY
Capitalisation indicates writer sees it as her duty to completely inform where there is presumed inadequate guidance from experts in the field
as to common challenges to birth and various interventions that MAY be necessary
Presumption of course content and education and intelligence of participants
. I believed with all my heart that as a young, fit, healthy and very active woman that birth for me would be straightforward and so did my doctors
I, of all people, should have had a better birthing experience. Drawing on expertise of authority of doctors (I/you shift)
....well, we had some adjustments to make in that belief on both occasions
‘We’ change to I to understand this client please. I have changed my belief system because of this
and that is a reality all women need to be prepared for
You must change YOUR belief system because of my experience
and it would be remiss of those who are mothers,
It is the duty of all mothers of the world….Drawing on every woman that has given birth (looking outside of oneself for support)
who have spent hours in labour and birth when challenges to their beliefs occur and very real damage does occur physcially and emotionally , not to warn other women to be realistic as well as to strive for their ideals.
Listen to me, I am warning you
This is a time when ideals can be unrealistic or even costly
My ideals were unrealistic. My ideals were costly
. The end result everyone wants is a HEALTHY BABY AND MOTHER and whatever it takes to get to that place is FANTASTIC whether a woman spends a couple of hours and delivers without a hitch or a C section becomes necessary with a whole team in the OR and special care baby unit
Meeting the client where they are to engage and regain Rapport. Then, more warnings on medical procedures assuming ignorance
. I honestly believe at any stage hpnosis is beneficial and can calm and control pain or anxiety and is immensly valuable as a stand-alone or complementary resource
More careless spelling indicating emotional state. More meeting client where they are.
.Birth is unique each time and the experiences of all women in it are valid.
Rapport, Rapport.
A conspiracy of silence over some of the less pleeasant aspects of it does not help anyone however
I am presuming a conspiracy of some sort – careless spelling again here. Presumption of course content and lack. Indication that writer is helping and others (silent ones) are not helping.
and I'd only ever seek to inform with the truth of poyrntial pifalls - not to scare –
I know I am scaring you so I shall tell you I am not scaring you - careless spelling indicator again here.
but to make other women aware that birth is a massive event and preparation for all eventualities needs to be balanced
I am presuming this hypnobirthing course that I am not attending will not be balanced
and as fully informed as possible. I am informing you because you are uninformed
Shared with the greatest respect to all opinions and especially all experiences and with the best of intentions for all. ❤
My best intention is to save you all from my fate."
I hold the greatest of respect of my own opinion and wish it to be yours too. My best intention for everyone is that you are saved - I am therefore, your saviour. Be grateful, be scared by my scars. Poor me, I mean you no harm and it's not my fault you are now so scared and considering an abortion as you've just found out you are pregnant. It's not my fault you are going back on those birth control pills to stop that pregnancy you were just considering. I am just helping.
Okay, I admit the final couple of comments is moving out of the balanced technical interpretation! However, the situation became more poignant as one lady soon found out she was indeed pregnant and another who was wanting to become pregnant resigned herself to never having children.
