Hypnosis Wisecracks!

You know, when you have been doing this as long as I have and have heard so many questions asked by so many lovely clients again and again.... well, sometimes the unconscious comes up with a more inventive response!

Smoker: Will you make me cluck like a chicken?
Well, chicken don't smoke so maybe that could work

I never relax
Just don't relax for a while then and the harder you keep trying to never relax the more tired you'll get of trying

It's the only pleasure I have in life
You need to get out more

Dieter: What if it doesn't work?
Well, you won't lose weight

I've no idea how hypnosis can work!
You've probably no idea how lightbulbs work but you use them don't you?

I bet you can't hypnotise me
I bet I don't want to

Will I have to close my eyes?
Will you have to keep them open?

How will I know I'm in trance
How do you not know when you’re in a trance

How will I'll I know it's worked
Well, you won't know it hasn't when it has

How many sessions will I need
How much time do you want to spend getting better?

I’m not sure I was hypnotised
I'm not sure you were not hypnotised

I don't believe in hypnosis
I don't believe in disbelief

Will I be able to drive afterwards?
Could you drive before?

Will I still get cravings
Tell me exactly what a craving feels like, step by step, how it happens and what needs to happen for it to happen….

I think I fell asleep does that mean it didn't work
I think I stayed awake and made sure that it did

I am very strong willed
How would you like to use that will power a bit better then
Well it seems to be strongly willing you out of control right now

I'm now going to ask three questions to see how good you will be at hypnosis
When watching tv do you
A) Focus on the show
B) Get easily distracted

A) that's fantastic because those who focus are really good at hypnosis
B) People who are able to take in a wider environment rather than be locked into one focus tend to be really good at hypnosis

At night do you
A) Fall asleep easily
B) Find it difficult to sleep

A) Those who fall asleep easily find it easy to go into trance
B) People who find it difficult to sleep are the big thinkers who contemplate things deeply and so are perfect for hypnosis

Etc! Add your own below!