From Tracy Jones, with thanks
A friend asked me for help with weight control. During the meta questioning I found that she ate minimally through the day then in the evening she would begin to raid the chocolate and sweet cupboard. This was on a day which described as her ‘being good’. Other days would start with her getting up and thinking to herself that she would be good today, then almost immediately she would begin eating sugary foods. The client was overweight and slightly into the obese category. However she had already lost 4 stones over the course of a year but the weight loss had stopped, and she was beginning to put some weight back on. She told me that she enjoyed exercising and had a strict fitness regime which consisted of a 7 mile run first thing in the morning, every day, then she worked full time caring for children so was physically active all day, rarely taking a lunch break, then every evening she would do 2 or 3 exercise classes or around 2 hours in the gym.
At the weekends she would complete her usual run, before spending around 4 hours at the gym, taking part in a variety of activities. Through the questioning she came across as feeling some guilt at the amount of time she spent at the gym, telling me that her husband complained that there was no family time. She told me that she justified it to him and herself as her accumulated lunch breaks that she didn’t get to take during the week. When she explained this to me, she was almost trying to convince me that she deserved to spend this time to herself as she was unable to have breaks while working as a childminder. I believe that she was also trying to convince herself of this!
I educated her about over exercising, explaining that unconscious mind was recognising that she was not having enough calories to sustain her body through her vigorous workout routine. This was especially apparent on the days where she woke up determined to ‘be good’, as her unconscious knew that on those days her body would receive no where near enough nutrition to keep her going, as on these days she was eating very little. Therefore the unconscious was immediately putting a stop to the lack of calories by sending the ‘eat’ signal. I also explained that her body needed rest days in order to recover, and this would actually aid her weight loss. She made it clear however that she was unwilling to reduce her exercise, as this was her time, doing something she enjoyed.
I conducted a new behaviour generator, then in subsequent sessions I used a control panel intervention and fork in the road. The fourth session was not arranged, and from speaking to her after I got the impression that she saw good results to begin with but she began to revert to her old behaviours after a while.
On reflection of this experience I think I know where the real root of the problem lies. During our sessions, she disclosed to me that her mother is, and has been for many years, addicted to prescription drugs. Her childhood was difficult and she described her mum as an attention-seeking hypochondriac. She told me that she never wanted to be like her mum and finds it difficult to take any kind of prescribed medication as she fears she will become addicted to it. She feels that addictions ‘run in the family’ and she was determined that she would be different. She also told me that she is addicted to exercise and as addictions go, it’s the best one she could have. From our discussions, I feel that she is convinced that she would follow in her mother’s footsteps and have some kind of addiction. I think that her unconscious mind has decided that as an addiction of some sort is inevitable it would choose one which is different to her mother (she made it very clear that she was determined not to be like her!) and one which is the lesser of the evils. It seems that if she is addicted to something then she has less chance of becoming addicted to drugs like her mother.
As a friend of the client, I found it difficult to confront her with this theory. Therefore, the therapy was not successful in the long term as the root cause of the problem had not been addressed. I did suggest to her that maybe a different therapist would be able to help her further, but as far as I know she has not perused any of the contacts I gave her.
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