Deleting, Distorting and Generalisations to know and love

 The Meta Model falls into 3 categories

Gathering information

Limits of the speaker modal

Senantic ill-formedness

Gathering information to gain a full description of the content being presented, it reconnects the speakers language with his or her experience.

1. Deletion
2. Lack of referential index
3. Unspecified verbs
4. Nominalisations

Meta Model

Deletions

Simple Deletion: Something is left out.

Example: “I am mad.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: “About what?”

Unspecified Referential Index: The person(s) or object to which the statement refers is unspecified or not clear.

Example: “They rejected my business proposal.” or “They rejected it.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: “Who?” or “What?”

Comparative Deletions: A comparison is made and it is unclear as to what is being compared. The sentence will contain words such as: good, bad, better, best, worst, more, less, most, least.

Example: “This approach is better.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: “Compared to what or whom?”

Unspecified Verb: In this case, it is not clear how something was done.

Example: “They rejected my business proposal.” I have used the example for Unspecified Referential Index to illustrate that sometimes there are several things that have been deleted, distorted or generalized and it is up to you to decide which line of questioning will yield the most information.

Question(s) to recover lost information: “How specifically?”

Nominalizations: A process has been turned into a “thing”. Nominalizations are nouns, yet you cannot physically touch them or put them in the trunk of your car. Examples of nominalizations are: communication, relationship, leadership, respect, truth, freedom, depression, love, etc. Our task here is to ask a question so that the process can be rediscovered.

Example: “The communication in our family is poor.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: “How would you like us to communicate?” Notice that there is also a comparative deletion and we could also ask “Poor compared to what?”

Generalisations

Universal Quantifiers: Universal quantifiers are typically words such as: all, every, never, always, only, everyone, everything, no one, etc.

Example: “My boss never gives me credit for what I do.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: We can exaggerate the generalization or use a counter example. “Never?” or “Has there ever been a time when your boss has given you credit?”

Modal Operators of Necessity or Possibility: Modal Operators of Necessity include words such as should, shouldn't, must, must not, have to, need to, it is necessary. Modal Operators of Possibility include words such as can/can't, will/won't, may/may not, possible/impossible.

Example: “I can’t do this now.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: The key is to challenge the limitation. “What would happen if you did?” or “What prevents you?”

Distortions

Mind Reading: In this case, the speaker claims to know what another person believes, feels, or thinks.

Example: “My boss is not pleased with my work.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: For this pattern, we simply ask, how do you know? “How specifically do you know your boss is not pleased with your work?”

Lost Performative: Value judgments are made and it is not clear who has made the judgment.

Example: “This is the right way to get ahead in this company.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: “According to whom?” or “How do you know it is the right way?”

Cause -- Effect: The speaker establishes a cause-effect relationship between two events or actions. Common constructions include: if .., then, because, makes, compels, causes.

Example: “When you look at me that way, I feel unimportant.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: “How does the way I look at you cause you to choose to feel unimportant?” You could also use a counter example.

Complex Equivalence: In this situation two experiences are interpreted as being synonymous. These two experiences could be joined by words such as: therefore, means, implies.

Example: “My boss walked into his office without saying ‘good morning’, therefore he is not pleased with my work.”

Question(s) to recover lost information: "How does not saying ‘good morning’ mean that your boss is not pleased with your work?” or “Have you ever been preoccupied by family or business pressures and forgot to say ‘good morning’ to your co-workers?”

Presuppositions: Some part of the sentence presupposes or implies the existence (or non-existence) of something, person, etc. while not explicitly stating it.

Example: “When will you demonstrate leadership for your team?” This sentence presupposes that you do not demonstrate leadership. If you try to answer this question directly, you will be digging an even deeper hole for yourself.

Question(s) to recover lost information: “What leads you to believe that I do not demonstrate leadership?” or “How is it that I do not demonstrate leadership?”