Client is admitting
shame. Important for the therapist to realise that client will be
using the term ‘you’ to dissociate and presume that everyone else
shares same dilemma, therapist knows statements do not apply to them.
Beware of being hypnotised by your client!
Jennie: So this is
‘shame’
Do you remember the
adverts presented by the celebrities of the time eating oozing fresh
cream cakes seductively saying the slogan ‘naughty, but nice’?
And how about the pretty young girl in the field eating the chocolate
flake? So you can forgive yourself on this score, because you see
you did not DECIDE on these actions. Consciously you planned to eat
the healthy sandwiches and yoghurts you had prepared for yourself.
Unconsciously, which
became a habit at a certain point in time, what you were perhaps
looking for was the excitement, the fulfilment of desire, the
‘getting away with it’ even. It wasn’t about the nutritional
content of the foodstuffs though it is time for me now to draw my
graph.
You may know this
though it is always good to bring it through to consciousness. When
you wake up in the morning your blood sugar level will have
stabilised.
I am now drawing a
graph to illustrate the exaggerated peaks and troughs of blood sugar
levels throughout the day of a sugar addict.
Client: Yes
Jennie: Everything you
have learned in the past is useful; though now is a new time. I
want you to begin to relate to your body as a biochemical machine.
Which is what it is, and to understand now what happens physically
within the body. After this session your mind is going to be back
in control, after you now realise how your body has been affected
chemically by these behaviours.
To assist with that I
shall draw the graph. Most times when you get up in the morning you
have had something sweet. Cereal with sugar that you say you cannot
eat without Anything sweet, marmalade, jam, sugar etc (and this is
not saying that any food is ‘bad’ this is just for understanding
what happens chemically to you) will shoot your blood sugar right
up. This will feel good.
You will have an
abundance of energy, your physical self will have this increase in
energy and your body will not need to break down any fat into glucose
which is what happens when you break down fat, the fat turns into
sugar. Even if you were a body builder and all you ate was protein,
eggs and steak all the time, your very clever body would convert the
excess protein into sugar. It would be a harder task for it to do,
but it would. It is a survival mechanism. If you have freely
available sugars just go into your bloodstream and elevates it
dramatically.
You know that your body
is always aiming for balance, so if you have excess alcohol it would
be striving to purify the system and stabilise it once again. Your
body is always striving for balance and to be ‘normal’ so what
it does here, is that it releases insulin to bring about that
stability as quickly as it can. If you have a lot of sugar,
hopefully there is going to be a lot of insulin unless you are
heading towards being diabetic. Which then means you may experience
a drop in that energy, it’s not really a drop, though compared to
the elevated levels you have experienced it seems like an unpleasant
place to be.
This coincides with
your mid morning break. There is memory within every cell, the
latest scientific research by Candace Pert (discoverer of the opiate
receptor) proves so. So it is as if your very body then remembers
how good it felt when you had the chocolate bar last time and guess
what?
Client: Wants it
again!
Jennie: To begin the
cycle again. Yes. The signals will be going back up into your brain
to say we want to feel that energy again and your instinct will be to
go back to the vending machine.
There is also, coupled
with this, a kind of wave permeating from way back when of all that
deprivation coming flooding through you, that now you are a grown up,
now your mom’s not here to watch, almost represented by those
others around you, there is now a naughtiness that I can do what I
want and it’s my money anyway…….. etc.
Your experiment then
would be, because don’t trust what anybody says, don’t believe
everything I say, do this for yourself and find your evidence. Test
it out for yourself, if you woke up tomorrow morning and had eggs
instead of cereal you will not get the up and down of the blood sugar
- nuts are good too. Then just see if your appetites are
different. Relate to food as if it were friend or enemy, rather
than blaming yourself for the cravings.
I am sensing now that I
have enough from the client to work with, so now my voice is becoming
more assertive, more commanding and the hidden commands are coming
through, to benefit the client who is looking for direction. ‘…
believe everything I say, do this for yourself’
Jennie: Tell me how
different you feel your behaviour needs to be at this point in time
in order for you to be the physical size and shape you want and what
it is specifically you would want to be different from this moment
onwards for you.
More commands, ‘..
your behaviour needs to be [different] … to be the physical size
and shape you want…. You want to be different from this moment ….
For you. Establishing need for change whilst empowering client to
do this for herself. Requiring client to be specific as to what
changes need to be in place.
Client: I want to be
more in control. I feel I am at the mercy of my emotions or cravings
or mixture of both. It is always such a big issue. Every time I am
eating I am either feeling self righteous or guilty and I don’t
want it to be such an issue for me anymore. I want to feel easy
around food and make the right choices naturally.
Jennie: Can you
remember a time when you did eat naturally?
Client: I went on my
first diet when I was 18. Prior to 18 I didn’t have an issue with
food
Jennie: … and you
didn’t have an issue with weight?
Client: That’s right
Jennie: So it began
when you were 18 then. So for those years before there were times
when you didn’t even want to come in for tea, or you wanted to stay
outside on your bike, did you ride a bike when you were young?
Client bringing up the
fact that pre dieting, everything was fine physically and emotionally
with food. It begs the question as to why the first diet was
embarked upon though we trust unconscious has spotted that one too….
Putting the client now into a suggested situation that she can
challenge or agree upon, though main idea is to return to positives
of pre diet experience and re-establish.
Client
Oh yes
Jennie
… and you just wanted
to stay out there on your bike and somebody was running after you
with a cardigan (laughter) and you didn’t even know it was cold?
Client
(laughter)No!
Jennie
So you will know, by
watching your daughter, you will know and you will remember as you
unconscious will enable this to happen, that once the obsession has
stopped, or held in abeyance, even for half an hour, you will
remember when you have taken her to school and watched children just
run for the sake of running. They invent games so that they can run
about.
Client
Yes, they do.
Jennie
Until they get perhaps
to teenage years there is no child skulking in the background leaning
against the wall, they are all running around.
Client
That’s right yes
Jennie
And there are those
parents who are saying ‘just stay here, don’t you dare run off’
and by the way, the unconscious mind does not recognise a negative,
so if you ever hear yourself or anyone else, saying to your child,
‘don’t you dare run’, or ‘now when we get to this place, I
don’t want you to….’ And then we describe the very behaviour we
don’t want them to do!
In the same way, if you
were saying to yourself repeatedly, ‘I mustn’t forget my keys in
the morning, I mustn’t forget to post that letter, or in the
morning I mustn’t forget to take something out of the freezer ready
for dinner’, your unconscious has to make a picture in your mind of
you NOT doing the thing that you want to do, in order to try and
discount that possibility! (laughter)
All it thinks about is
forgetting the keys, finding the urgent bill still in your handbag
after the last post has gone, or searching the cupboards for
something to eat that doesn’t resemble a frozen brick. Much more
useful to say, ‘in the morning I shall remember my keys, I shall
remember my keys, remember my keys’. So, because children are
operating at mostly an unconscious level, the worst thing that we can
do really, again with all good intentions, is to say, ‘don’t you
dare run’ or ‘when we there, don’t go running off like you did
last time’, because they are imagining themselves, on your
instruction, running off and then trying to negate it. It may never
have occurred to them to do such a thing, but you put it right there
in their visual cortex.
Client
Yes! (laughter)
Jennie
Much more effective to
promote the positive rather than to install the negative, if you
like. So, you would like things to be different.
From what you have said
to me and what you have said to your unconscious mind, you would like
things to be different and you would like things to be more balanced.
You would almost like to have the same attitude to food that you
had when you were 18?
Client
Yes. But in saying
that, I have got to lose weight, so I have got to take that into
account too. Whereas then, I did not have a weight problem, so it
would have been easier, does that make sense?
Does it? Does this
really make any sense at all??? Read PART6 to find out.
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